So far this year, I’ve had students get into Harvard, Stanford, Cornell, Brown, Boston College and Notre Dame. Congratulations! It's an exciting time!
However, I’ve also had students waitlisted, deferred, or rejected from their dream schools.
Rejection is painful, and in college admissions, can even feel extremely personal, since colleges are evaluating your activities, your grades, your academic interests, your passions, your hobbies. But what you do is not who you are. And similarly, where you go is not who you are.
I’m no stranger to rejection. I faced so many closed doors in my stint as a kid-teen reporter. I submitted countless portfolio after portfolio filled with my best creative work, from poetry that came from the deepest parts of me to plays that I edited endlessly. I sent out applications to programs I was convinced would make or break my high school and college careers. Every email that contained “I regret to inform you” felt like a jab to my heart. It was hard not to take it personally—after all, it was my work on the table, oftentimes creative work I poured my whole self into.
I started collecting a folder of rejection letters I received in the mail. At school, one of my teachers suggested we start a “rejection ceiling” where students could paste their rejection letters above, as a symbol of pride. Because every rejection meant another try. It was physical proof that we hadn’t given up. And that, my teacher would say, was the real victory.
We never did start that rejection ceiling, at least while I was there, but I still have my folder of letters, which I’m proud to say, never stops growing. I’ve never stopped putting myself out there because I don’t want to stop myself from getting my next Yes.
The people who push past rejection are the brave ones. The ones who keep going. Rejection brings you one step closer to where you need to be. The school you end up at might not have been your dream school. But who knows the friends you’ll meet there, the discoveries you’ll make with your professors, the home you’ll build yourself for four years. Don’t write off your future because of rejection. Take some time to process your emotions, which are totally valid, but don’t put the blinders on. Instead, get excited about the many possibilities for your very young life ahead of you.
One final note about college admissions: to a certain degree, college admissions relies on luck, in addition to hard work. Because of the opaqueness of the process, we’ll never quite know why one school rejected you when others might accept you. This is why it’s essential to diversify your list and apply for reach, match and safety schools because the process is, at times, inscrutable and unpredictable.
It may seem like the world has ended; I am here to assure you that is very much not the case. Especially for those I’ve worked with—every single one of my students is tenacious and driven to do great things to help their communities. Where you go doesn’t limit your impact on the world—I look forward to seeing how you’ll change the world.
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